I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
