Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
