I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize