You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
