I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
