i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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