She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
