Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i barfeds in our rink
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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