Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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