no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
