if i died would you start the facebook group?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me đ
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled âfive times and I still havenât gotten offâ when he was still inside me ..
Said âdonât worry Iâll get myself off tomorrowâ to top it all off
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
