i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
