Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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