I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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