I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you traded sex for a burrito?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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