Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
