Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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