I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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