Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
