Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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