I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
