Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize