I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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