It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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