I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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