Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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