apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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