He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize