Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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