Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
