My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
