haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
