all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
