We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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