Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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