hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
