I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
