i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
