dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Randomize
