I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
