why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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