a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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