All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
