shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
