so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you will always have a special place in my vag
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
