im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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