You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
