i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
