grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
