i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
