Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize