That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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