Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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