Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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