She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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