2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
