Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
