youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize