I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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