He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
